romantic comedy - ( dilemma of love, chapter 9 )

[mandytl]

Location: Light Music Club Classroom

 

Koga: ... Aahn? The hell d'ya mean? You're sayin' that scandal article is just some bogus crap you made up?!

 

Rei: Indeed. Both the article about Kaoru-kun and the foolish reporter launching an attack against us; it was all fictitious, merely a wicked deed and a villain's pretense.

 

Rei: Kukuku. I did my best to make my performance as authentic as possible. No one seemed to notice.

 

Rei: Though tricking others like this isn't to my tastes, so the act alone was quite exhausting. 

 

Rei: In that respect, fine is quite impressive. 

 

Adonis: Wh-What do you mean? Was fine involved in this charade I don't understand? This... plot, as it's called.

 

Rei: Ah, no. Perhaps that was a poor choice of words on my part.

 

Rei: They would need an actual reason to start causing trouble. It'd be folly to carry out some foolish plan right before the SS live.

 

Rei: Fine would gain nothing from trampling all over us now. There's no point.

 

Rei: Tenshouin-kun wouldn't carry out such a foolish move knowing that our time is limited. 

 

Rei: To put it simple... they've long grown tired of playing the villain. Though what I wanted to say in this case was merely a little something borrowed from the Theater Club's Hibiki-kun.

 

Rei: No, this matter was of my own making.

 

Rei: Not an order or a wish to grant, but something I selfishly carried out all on my own. 

 

Rei: My usual approach involves preparing for any strange schemes that will attempt to flourish and take root.

 

Rei: That's how I ended up obtaining that scandalous photo. 

 

Rei: My public source had quite the opinion about it leaking to the press, I believe: "Uh, ain't this kinda bad?"

 

Koga: The public? That sounds excessive as hell. What in the world are you, anyway?

 

Rei: Kukuku. You've known me for quite some time, haven't you?

 

Rei: Anyhow. I recognized at first glance that the article in question wasn't much of a scandal. 

 

Rei: ... in fact, the one called into question in this photo with Kaoru-kun isn't his secret lover. They're a rabbit we ought to know.

 

Koga: Rabbit? Ah~... I don't have the real deal in front of me or anythin', but I did kinda feel like I'd seen the person lockin' arms with that playboy before.

 

Koga: I knew somethin' was off!

 

Rei: Kukuku. To say "I knew it!" after discovering the truth is a little uncool. ♪

 

Rei: Well. Putting the rather dull Puppy aside, Kaoru-kun is quite clever and should have considered the answer already.

 

Rei: The signature on the article is actually an anagram of my name, "Sakuma Rei". 

 

Rei: The very moment one's heart skips a beat is when a question is raised.

 

Rei: Our little rabbit who ended being dragged into this thanks to that photo... I feel sorry for Shino-kun. Though I suppose there's no crying over spilt blood.¹

 

Koga: It's "no use cryin' over spilled milk", actually.

 

Rei: Indeed. There's the reaction I wanted. There, there, Puppy. I'll give you a hanamaru, a perfect score. ♪

 

Koga: You wanna die? Quit bein' so cryptic and just straight-up explain shit in a way people can understand.

 

Rei: I intended to, but for Kaoru-kun and the both of you to be so agitated that you can't proceed with our lessons... that was a miscalculation on my part.

 

Rei: I'd like to uncover the truth quickly so we can return to getting ready for the steadily approaching "StarFes". 

 

Rei: That's why I'm calmly discussing our present state of affairs with you through all that tactless behavior.

 

Koga: Bah. Anyone'd get agitated over this crap.

 

Koga: If the scandal were seriously real we'd be in a world of hurt. There's no way things'd be like they are now.

 

Rei: That's what makes this so significant. When that photo was passed on to me by my public sources, I knew it would be useful.

 

Adonis: Useful?

 

Rei: Yes. Lately I had considered using it.

 

Rei: And so I selected from the photo what seemed to be the most relevant and fabricated a fictitious article. 

 

Rei: I requested for Aoba-kun to fix up this article in a hurry since he's quite good at such things.

 

Rei: He feels like he owes me a great deal and so I took advantage of that to have him act.

 

Rei: I thought that would make us even... I suppose it was a decent enough idea since it did lift a bit of the burden.

 

Koga: Keh. How many damn people are ya gonna get involved in this just actin' on a whim like that?

 

Rei: Yes, well. It's not as if I wanted it to be that way.

 

Rei: I simply had no choice. You all must have realized it by now, but I'm very weak as of late... 

 

Rei: And while I'm partial to the season, it seems that my old age is catching up to me...  
___
¹ Rei plays off the phrase "犬に噛まれたと思って忘れる" here. It basically means 'just think of (this) as a dog bite and forget it', ie. no solution will come out of the situation there's no point in worrying about it. In the original text Rei replaced dog (犬）with vampire (吸血鬼). It didn't make a whole lot of sense in English, so after some deliberation with friends we opted for a more common English idiom with a twist.