love comedy - ( to every good kid, chapter 8 )

[mandytl]

Location: StarFes Stage (First Half)

Hajime: I was certainly having a bit of a hard time...

So when I went to thank Hakaze-senpai for looking out for me, I ended up asking him for advice.

Nazuna: Why' Kaoru-chin? Wouldn't it have been better to talk to one of us... ?

Hajime: Uhm, well, I didn't plan on discussing this with Hakaze-senpai either, but he's such a smooth talker.

And I did want someone to listen to me anyway.

It was too difficult to bring up around anyone from Ra*bits, but getting to vent a little really helped.

Anyhow, uhm. I probably didn't make it clear earlier, but I was... the only one he invited to join that agency.

It was a single position for the "partner" he was searching for.

Tomoya: Yeah... I probably would've rejected him too if the invitation meant having to withdraw from Ra*bits.

Hajime: Oh, no — I wouldn't have to leave the group as long as I worked as his partner occasionally.

He even assured me that the agency would make sure I had the support and necessary training for my activities.

Nazuna: They were giving you some serious preferential treatment... I mean, that's no run-of-the-mill recruiting. They genuinely wanted your talent, Hajime-chin.

It probably felt like money' was no object for them.

But they're actually a pretty poor agency. Just goes to show how bad they really wanted you.

Hajime: Right. It was such a kind offer... well, one that I rejected already.

Tomoya: But why? I mean, other than the fact that it'd add even more onto the work you already have.

Hajime: That could be it. I'm pretty tied up even now.

Tomoya: Oh. Is it because you hate cross-dressing? Being the partner of a "pretty girl" idol would mean you'd have to
revamp your look to be more girlish, yeah?

Hajime: Maybe, but if it's absolutely necessary to sell my image... if that's what it takes to be acknowledged, then I'll be
okay.

I'll put up with it... only not really, but I've come to accept that.

The real reason I rejected it is because I didn't want to get a head start after we supported each other and came this far together.

Reaching the goal ahead all on my own... no, reaping the benefits after being separated from everyone would make me
feel so guilty.

And we'd be spending less time together despite not having to withdraw.

If we grew distant, then...

None of the praise or money would matter.

My spoiled self couldn't stand it. I just want to stay together... and knowing this, everyone would still say "I think it'd be
better if you accepted".

I didn't want you to give me a push and tell me something like "do your best over there". It was such a scary thought.

It'd just be like past. I'd be the only one getting left behind again...

It doesn't matter whether I'm here or not as long as I'm trying to be good, and — I really hate that more than anything.

Picturing it all scared me to the point of rejecting that precious invitation. .... do you think I did something stupid, Nii-
chan?

Nazuna: ... I can't be the one to tell you that. What's right and what's not... I don't know if you'll look back on this later.

You're prioritizing people over profit. No... — you're afraid of losing your comfort zone so you're holding your ground.

I can't say whether that's a stupid choice or not. Even I... sometimes think it would've been better if I'd done the same.

Hajime: It wouldn't have. If you'd stayed with Valkyrie then Nito Nazuna-senpai of Ra*bits might've never come to exist.

Our precious Nii-chan...

But. Uhm, that's why when I heard you were returning to Valkyrie temporarily...

I thought about how much I didn't want that. It felt like you wouldn't come back.

Nazuna: ....

Hajime: That's really silly of me, isn't it? But maybe to you our Ra*bits is similar to that veteran agency.

If I'd accepted the invitation and joined them... we would've been in pretty similar situations.

I would have to leave my comfort zone to live in a new world.

And if for even a moment I returned to that nostalgic place where I belonged, I probably wouldn't want to leave again no
matter how recognized or active I was before.

I'm still so afraid whenever I picture having to part with everyone. So I turned down that invitation...

I looked away from the chance to shine even more as an idol. I stopped moving forward.

Valkyrie's a very important place for you, isn't it? Nii-chan.

Just as much as Ra*bits is for me right now... ?

I wouldn't be able to leave Valkyrie be if that were the case. I would hate for it to vanish.

And that's why I wouldn't want to leave, either, because it's so precious to me —

I'm, scared. At even the slightest chance of Nii-chan going away forever. I hate the thought so much.

I'm sorry for being such a baby, Nii-chan.

And for... for thinking about how badly I didn't want to leave Ra*bits for even a second no matter good the deal.

Or for thinking that... maybe it's not as important to you.

It frustrated me to the point of being this selfish. That's the kind of bad child I am.

But I wanted you to understand my feelings even when I'm like this.

Nazuna: ....