floyd leech [ union birthday ] ssr

[mandytl]

Union Birthday 1 

“Happy Birthday” - Floyd Leech

Location: Octavinelle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

Floyd: Ahh… I’m hungry. I wanna move to the venue already. They’re prepping takoyaki for us to eat.

But the presenter chosen by the magic birthday dice is ‘sposed to be bringing me some good fortune, so…

I hope it ends up being fun, like… someone awesome shows up or they gift me a real unique present.

???: Sorry for interrupting, but I’m here to do the birthday interview.

Deuce: It’s Deuce Spade, your presenter for today. Happy Birthday, Leech-senpai!

Floyd: Oh, it’s just you, Mackerel-chan… 

Deuce: That was a lukewarm reaction… I guess you’re in a bad mood?

Floyd: ‘cause it’s like I just pulled a dud. You’re totally the type to settle for an affordable gift. 

Well, whatever. I’ll take it. Hurry up and give me your present.

Deuce: … Here. I don’t know if you'll like it, but I thought long and hard on what to get you.

Floyd: Haah? What’s with this flimsy envelope? There a gift certificate in here or something? I’ll laugh my ass off if it’s a letter.

Deuce: It’s not! Wait to complain until after you open it.

Floyd: Sure, sure. And the contents aaare…

A voucher that says “I’ll take you on a drive on a magical wheel”? 

Magical wheels are like… those nautilus-shaped vehicles people ride on land, yeah?

Man, that’s rich! Is that really all you came up with, Mackerel-chan? You’re such a fry.

Deuce: Uhm, yes… Ace told me you like things that’re fun, so… 

I considered the most fun thing to do and then… settled on giving you a drive on a magical wheel.

Floyd: Hmm. I’ve never rode a magiwheel before. Is it seriously that fun?

Deuce: Of course! The scenery passing by and the sensation of becoming one with the wind… it’s the best!

Floyd: I’ve never even seen one going that fast before… 

But if that’s real, then it might be pretty fun. Maybe I wanna actually ride one now.

Deuce: It probably won’t be today since we’ve got our interview and the actual party right after, but… 

You can hop in the back of mine whenever you’ve got a day off, Leech-senpai. I found a really nice track.

Floyd: I got you. So I use this voucher and you’ll roll up on your magiwheel whenever and however many times I want, huh?

Deuce: Huh?!

Floyd: I mean, all this little slip says is “I’ll take you on a drive on a magical wheel”... 

It doesn’t say “valid for one-time use” or even like, aaany specific restrictions for the exact date of use written on it.

There’s no limit to who can use it either… so maybe I’ll let Jade give it a whirl too.

He counts as “Leech-senpai” too, right?

Deuce: Urgh… I-I didn’t think that far ahead when I made it…

Floyd: You’ve gotta be careful when drawing up a document like this. This voucher’s basically a kind of contract. 

Deuce: Okay, well… This is all my fault, so… I’ll take you on two, even three drives!

Since I'd be thrilled if you got hooked on riding a magiwheel.

Floyd: Ahah. You said it, Mackerel-chan. Don’t come crying to me when you regret it later.

Well, anyway, here’s looking forward to our very first drive together.

Union Birthday 2

“Happy Birthday” - Floyd Leech

Location: Octavinelle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

Deuce: I’ll begin with the interview now. 

Floyd: Okay~. I’m down to answer.

Deuce: “If you could choose any student from Night Raven College to be your sibling, who would it be?”

Only… it can’t be anyone from the same dorm.

Floyd: Hmm… someone who isn’t Jade, huh. I’ve never even considered wanting more siblings…

But I guess Crab-chan wouldn’t make for a bad little brother.

Deuce: Crab-chan… —you mean Ace?!

Floyd: Yep. You went to Crab-chan for ideas when picking out my gift, right?

Sometimes he even buys me my favorite bread from the campus store, like, he really gets what I like.

Deuce: If by buying it for you, you actually mean you’re ripping it straight out of Ace’s hands...

Floyd: You say something?

Deuce: Nothing! I didn’t say a thing!

Are you sure that’s who you’d want, though? Ace is selfish, foul mouthed, and not even adorable… 

Floyd: I don’t need them to be charming or whatever. It’s not like siblings are always supposed to be hanging off each other.

Crab-chan and I get all hyped up talking about clothes and shoes during our breaks in the basketball club. 

Deuce: Oh, yeah. He’s always talking about the new clothes and basketball shoes he wants during class or back at our dorm.

Floyd: We were looking at some limited edition sneakers together a while ago… 

I told him out-loud, all hopeful-like, “Suuure would be nice if someone got me these for my birthday.”

Deuce: That’s… news to me.

Floyd: Talk about useless. He should’ve just told you what I want instead of what I like.

Well, that’s Crab-chan for you. Quick on the uptake, but flaky on the follow through.

We had this teammate making such weak passes during a game a little while ago, see.

So I spiked his sports drink with plenty of lemon juice in an effort to give him some energy, as if to say “man up already”.

Then Crab-chan passed by with a grin and said, “Want me to hand that to him?”

Deuce: Ace still pulls stupid pranks like that during practice, huh… 

Floyd: So I let him take care of it, and he delivered that drink like he was totally clueless.

It was a huge success, until he actually drank the thing.

After that, he glanced back at me like, “now what?”

He really thought I was gonna back him up when I hadn’t promised to do jack. That was all on him.

Deuce: … So, what happened after that?

Floyd: Lobster-sensei saw them making a scene and gave him 100 sit ups as punishment.

He squealed just like a beached fur seal.

It’s that naive attitude that makes Crab-chan so entertaining. That’s why he wouldn’t be such a bad little brother.

After all, I’d never want a boring guy to be my sibling.

Union Birthday 3

“Happy Birthday” - Floyd Leech

Location: Octavinelle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

Deuce: Next question.

“If you could join any dorm besides Octavinelle, which would you choose?”

Floyd: Anywhere but here, huh. Savanaclaw, I guess.

It’s where might makes right and simple is best, yeah?

If someone pisses me off then all I’ve gotta do is show them who’s boss to shut them up.

Deuce: It is faster to let your fists do the talking.

Floyd: Ahah. Now we’re talking. You sure you didn’t actually want to join Savanaclaw, Mackerel-chan?

Deuce: No. I’m happy where I am in Heartslabyul.

Floyd: Eugh, seriously? Having to abide by all those crazy rules would be such a pain. Forget it.

Who cares about every little move some mouse makes, and I wanna eat what I want when I’m hungry. 

Ah, but doesn’t all that law-abiding crap depend on whoever’s the dorm leader?

If the Dark Mirror had placed me in Heartslabyul…

Then I would’ve strangled Goldfish-chan suuuper tight and been dorm leader by now, don’t you think…?

Deuce: … There’s no way that would’ve happened. Don’t underestimate our Boss.

Floyd: Ahahah. He’s got you whipped. 

Speaking of whipped, I wouldn’t wanna be in Pomefiore either.

Everyone in that dorm moves together like a school of sardines… It looks super uncomfortable from the outside.

Betta-chan-senpai knows a ton about clothes and makeup, and I think he’s got some awesome strengths, but… 

He’d totally force me to straighten up my posture and change how I dress. Just thinking about it’s making me hate it.

Azul tells me to tread carefully in the Mostro Lounge, but he lets me do what I want where no one can see.

Deuce: Dorm Leader Rosehearts is pretty demanding when it comes to etiquette, but…

Pomefiore seems way more strict when it comes to dress code.

Floyd: They’re pretty much the same to me. The bottom line is Octavinelle’s the most easygoing.

Deuce: That concludes the interview. Next up is…

Floyd: My “gift of good fortune”, huh. Aren’t you scared to go against me, Mackerel-chan?

Deuce: Far from it. I'm not holding back, even against my upperclassmen.

Floyd: Wow. You’ve actually got guts. Bring it on whenever you’re ready.

Deuce: I won’t hold back then.

Floyd Leech-senpai… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!